December 2nd | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

OK, I realize there are many of you who would like to now take back your vote, but assuming you were able to remain conscious after reading that headline, I think there is some good we can take from this. Yes, Neal Santos over at CityPaper claims he got to jog next to the President elect (and his Secret Service detail) at his local healthclub this morning, and yes, according to Santos, Obama:

“broke a mean sweat while reading a copy of USA Today and listening to his Zune. “

Ouch. Yes, this is truly a kick-in-the-nuts for many a Mac-friendly Barack supporter, but, there are two things we as Americans (and world citizens in general) should be happy about here.

First, apparently Obama can multi-task. To be able to run fast enough on a treadmill to “break into a mean sweat”, I’d say you need to be going 5-6 miles per hour. So, if the man can read a newspaper while running 6 mph AND listen to music (no matter what he’s playing it on) then I think it’s safe to say we have upgraded from our current CEO who often has trouble merely speaking while standing still. Second, and perhaps more importantly, we now know where the lone Zune sold in 2008 is, and we can keep an eye on it as a nation, so it will never sneak up on any of us.

Thanks to faithful Macenstein reader Ryan for the tip!

December 2nd | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times and I guess I have to admit I am a tool.

I don’t know why, but for some reason I keep getting sucked in by these musical instrument apps for the iPhone. It started innocently enough, with the free MiniPiano app. However, about 2 minutes after launching it, I soon remembered why I dropped out of piano lesson classes as a kid (I still remember crying at my first piano recital, unable to get through “The Bear Went Over The Mountain“, and my 80-year old piano teacher coming to my embarrassing rescue to help play me out. If I ever want to feel the sensation off douche chills, I focus on that memory (oh, and I was 25 at the time – just kidding)). Sure, on MiniPiano I could figure out the beginning of Mary Had a Little Lamb, but I soon realized that was as far as I was going to get.

Above: Pocket Guitar, MiniPiano, and Ocarina

Still, that didn’t stop me from optimistically laying down the big 99¢ for PocketGuitar, a guitar simulator app. I don’t know what I was thinking. At least I had taken 4 months of piano as a kid – I had never even touched a guitar outside of picking up my friend’s “axe” (as the cool kids call them), strumming a few off-key strings, and promptly putting it down. I quickly found that Pocket Guitar’s developers did such an accurate job recreating the guitar experience on the iPhone that I sounded just as horrible on it as on a real guitar.

Now, here comes Ocarina, the media darling. Nearly 1000 reviews on the iTunes store, and a 4 star average. I was quite the Zelda player on the original NES, so I figured, hey, 1000 people can’t be wrong! Here’s my chance!

My chance for what, I am not sure. I now realize that even if I had been able to make any semblance of a song on the thing, I would still essentially be playing a flute, something I made every effort to avoid while growing up, and certainly nothing I ever wanted to do before it appeared on the iPhone.

So that’s it. I am breaking up the iBand. I have sworn off all musical instrument apps for the iPhone. I don’t care how highly you guys rate these apps or how many YouTube videos pop up of hippies jamming on the virtual Ocarina or rocking out on their iGuitars, I now know that it is more or less impossible for me to produce a decent sound on a virtual instrument. Well, with one exception…

Above: The only iPhone instrument I have truly mastered

December 1st | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

In the beginning of the DVD era, it used used to be just handing your client a DVD with a Sharpie-written title on it was good enough. These days, however, it’s no longer enough that you were able to “magically” produce a stunning-looking HD video on your laptop, you now have to make the disc itself look as good as what’s on the inside. The problem is, as any video editor will tell you, making these one-off labels can sometimes be as time consuming as the edit itself, and they are something the client just expects, and assumes they won’t have to pay extra for (just try to add “1/2 hour label design” to each bill and see what happens).

DYMO’s DiscPainter aims to step in and rescue professional editors and graphic artists from the burden of designing professional looking discs for their clients approval copies while still having time do the actual work. The DiscPainter is an extremely easy to use ink jet disc printer designed to do one thing - print full-color DVD and CD labels quickly, and for the most part it does it very well. (Continue reading…)

December 1st | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

The Simpsons is one of those rare shows that I still watch today based solely on how much I enjoyed the previous seasons. I think it might be up to around season 22 or something, and while I have not enjoyed a full season for about 11 years, it still makes my DVR list because one episode in every 5 is worth watching (mainly ones where Lisa is minimized, and there is no singing or flashbacks). Now, perhaps it is the cynic in me (which is pretty much ALL of me) but I think tonight’s jab at Apple may simply be an attempt to generate some buzz on the interweb amongst tech geeks, and since I am writing about it, mission accomplished. Here’s the clip from tonight’s opening.

Obviously I like Apple, but I don’t love Apple to the point that I won’t admit it when someone nails them on something – however go ahead and count the laughs in that clip. (I counted 1 smirk at the Cube reference, and a full smile for the “Who dares question the boss we fired 10 years ago and then brought back?” line). I think maybe the Simpsons should start taking a page from the Family Guy and start editing their jokes. That scene took over 3 minutes and went nowhere.

Given that I think something like 200% of Simpsons writers use Macs, the whole things seems a little odd. Are we REALLY still debating whether Apple products cost more than PCs? I think it has long been established that comparably equipped PCs don’t cost all that much less than Apple’s, it’s just that Apple doesn’t offer any low-end models that match the useless bargain crap PC makers flood the market with. And a $600 phone? That’s so last year. And for the record, Zunes aren’t all that less than iPods, and no one wants them.

So why the Apple bash? Well, IMHO, Apple bashing is an easy way to grab an extra 15 seconds of fame, and it reminds folks that The Simpsons is still on the air. Sort of the way the comic Fox Trot kisses Apple’s ass every once in awhile so people will talk about it.

November 29th | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

I’ve never been a fan of how user-friendly the iPhone’s OS is. Sure, it’s OK, but it’s always bothered me that I did not need a USB client, computer and keyboard hooked to it to display a text-navigated kernel, and instead I was forced to use that beautiful graphical interface and intuitive touch screen to navigate my visually stunning and well-designed apps and games.

Well, luckily for me, my days of easily getting things done on the iPhone may be numbered, as Linux, the operating system that seems to exist solely for the purpose of seeing which devices that were not meant to run it can be forced to run it, can add another notch on its belt – the iPhone. The iPhone Dev Team has successfully booted Linux on the iPhone, and like most “successful” Linux ports, this one is missing half the features and nearly all the functionality you would think a successful iPhone port would have, yet still Linux geeks are calling it a success.

So what’s missing? Well, how about a little thing like support for the touchscreen. What do you do, shake the iPhone to enter text or navigate? Oh wait, no, there is no accelerometer support either. Hmmm.. well it’s probably all voice activated then. What? No sound either? Hmm… Well, good thing I always carry a USB cable, computer and keyboard with me!

Check out the video below to see just how amazingly useful this months-long effort to redefine “user unfriendliness” is.

Wow, I am positively drooling. I already have Linux running on my Roomba and my electric toothbrush, so this will really make things easier for me at home. Sure, it takes me an extra hour or so to brush my teeth, but it’s totally worth it. After all, it’s running Linux! And nothing is cooler than running Linux.

November 28th | Posted by Dr. Macenstein

Santa knows these days the kids don’t want wooden, elf-built toys, wagons and dolls – they want iPods, just like everyone else on the planet, and it looks like Santa and his friends will be hitting the Apple Store this holiday season to stock up.

Above: The figures look quite similar to the Rankin/Bass-esque holiday “I’m a Mac” commercial of last year.

Brooklyn-based company Lite Brite Neon has been tapped to construct some iPod-loving Santa and Elf statues to help promote the iPods in the Apple Stores. Apparently each of the 5-foot tall statues is shipped in pieces and meant to be assembled on-site by the Apple Store employees. Lite Brite Neon has posted 2 online videos (one for Santa, one for the Elf) demonstrating how to piece the statues together, and most importantly, how to thread the delicate neon iPod headphone cords. If you don’t mind graphic depictions of decapitated Santa’s and Elves, they are worth a look.

Thanks to faithful Macenstein reader Andy for the tip!
[via ifoapplestore]