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13 Things you may not know about Steve Jobs

June 22, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein
Filed under: Humor, Slow News Day, Steve Jobs

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Steve Jobs’ alleged liver transplant came as a bit of a shock to Apple fans this week. Given that Jobs is one of the most high-profile and rumored-about CEO’s on the interweb, sometimes we may feel we know everything there is to know about the man. However, Steve is like an onion. He’ll make you cry if you cut him. AND he has layers. Many layers. Here are 13 little known facts that you may not be aware of about everyone’s favorite Apple CEO (not including Gil, of course).

#1 Steve’s liver transplant is not his first organ transplant operation. Over the last 400 years Steve has been gradually replacing all his organs as they wear out.

#2 Steve Jobs’ favorite color is a special color that only he can see called “flursch”. According to a 1996 Vanity Fair article, Steve once described flursch as “sort of like how you see purple, except it’s just about as different as you can imagine.”

#3 Steve Jobs CAN believe it’s not butter.

#4 Steve Jobs can divide by zero.

#5 “Steven Paul Jobs” is an anagram for “Elves Put Banjos”. Think about it.

#6 Despite holding a public funeral for Mac OS 9, Steve still runs Classic on his MacBook Pro to play Sid Meier’s Civilization 2.

#7 Steve has been rumored to be romantically linked to Joan Baez and ex-New York Giants quarterback Phil Simms.

#8 Steve’s first fruit-themed computer company, Elderberry Computers, went under in 1975 shortly after Monty Python’s The Holy Grail was released and turned the once proud fruit into a joke.

#9 Contrary to popular belief, there does not appear to be any direct correlation between N2N (the tail number on Steve Jobs’ Gulfstream 5 Jet) and the Los Angeles-based N2N erotic men’s clothing store.

#10 According to scientists who study such things, the “most uncomfortable moment ever recorded” occurred in Cupertino CA, March 18th, 2004 during a 75-minute Steve Jobs tongue-lashing given to a technician who could not get a projector working.

#11 Steve Jobs was originally up for the role or “Neo” in the Matrix movies, but the Wachowski brothers didn’t feel like doing a documentary.

#12 Steve Jobs can pee at a urinal even if flanked on both sides and with a line behind him.

#13 Steve Jobs has cried only once during his life - while watching the movie Sophie’s Choice. It wasn’t the heart-wrenching plot that made Steve tear up, it was reportedly the idea of a person being given “choice” that got to him.

Please add any additional “facts” you know about Steve in the comments.

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Comments

39 Comments on 13 Things you may not know about Steve Jobs

Torrance on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 9:41 pm

Steve Jobs invented the letter “X” strictly for its marketing and promotional appeal on smallish square boxes.

devin singley on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 10:07 pm

Steve Jobs invented the first fully functional robot to adhere to all of Asimov’s Laws; codenamed Tim Cook.

devin singley on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 10:11 pm

Steve Jobs’ subconscious is so powerful, it created Jelly Belly candy only to draw inspiration from it later to design the iMac.

Luke on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:05 pm

When Steve Jobs does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

MacMarine on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:09 pm

Steve Jobs’ ultimate goal is to be the first elected iPresident.

MacMarine on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:11 pm

Steve Jobs’ first attempt at a robot failed (see Steve Balmer).

MacMarine on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:15 pm

The press got the facts all jumbled once again. Steve Jobs did not get a liver transplant in Tennessee. He had a personal fusion reactor (Code name Tennessee) installed at the Lawrence Livermore Labs.

MacMarine on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:16 pm

Steve Jobs’ was the fifth Beetle!

Dave colvin on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:30 pm

Steve Jobs’ does not have two left feet, in fact he has two ambidextrous feet to be able to dance anyway he pleases.

Greg on Mon, 22nd Jun 2009 11:53 pm

Steve Jobs is a cybernetic organism, Cyberdyne systems model 101.

Freddy J. Nager on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 12:08 am

Steve Jobs has been seen having his cake and eating it, too.

When he has insomnia, Steve laughs himself to sleep by reading Dell annual reports.

Steve can heal the sick with his bare hands, but refuses to touch an Xbox.

Kryptonite gives Steve a killer buzz.

Steve once wrestled his inner demons and died, but was sent back to earth as Steve the White “until his task was finished.”

Matthew on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 12:54 am

This is criminally unfunny. Don’t give up your day job mate.

Justin Vanden Bosch on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 1:27 am

Are you kidding? This is great. Thanks for another entertaining article.

David on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 3:33 am

you are a moron, grow up

rob on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 3:46 am

reminds me of the chuck norris jokes

Bjarki on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 4:16 am

I’m with Matthew. Shockingly flat.

creads on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 6:36 am

I have smiled ! This is a funny post !!

Jonro on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 8:14 am

I think it’s funny, and that’s all that matters.

Copper on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 8:41 am

Chuck Norris is an invention of Steve Jobs, designed by Jonathan Ive.

macFanDave on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 10:46 am

After being burned by releasing products before society could “get” them (Newton, NeXTCube, etc.), Steve Jobs now has 27 things in his garage that will become the basis of 22nd century existence, but he’s keeping them to himself.

Rudy on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 11:10 am

This is really really unfunny. Especially #1. It’s not even remotely smart…

Matt on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 2:12 pm

This is Steve Jobs 143 incarnation. Like Dr Who when he dies he becomes another Brilliant man in history.

Blake on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 2:14 pm

Steve Jobs is adopted and has a daughter, Lisa.

Matthew Peterson on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 4:55 pm

Steve Jobs also only uses 10% of his brain ….. Any more and the ISS would implode

Mathias Rios on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 5:38 pm

I am sensing a new Internet Meme… “The Steve Job Jokes”

mario Raya on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 5:47 pm

Steve Jobs is not bound to the laws of Equivalent Exchange.

Raymond on Tue, 23rd Jun 2009 6:47 pm

I believe he said “Please add any additional “facts” you know about Steve in the comments.” not “tell me how unfunny i am.” i think it’s hilarious and more so than chuck norris jokes. so i think posts besides mine that have no facts about steve should not exist in these comments.

Steve Jobs invented God. then he made God 3g. but we like to call him “Jesus Christ”

looks like my post counts now since i added a “Fact”

NullPointer on Wed, 24th Jun 2009 8:42 am

Steve Jobs is dead. The “actual” one is a replacement made by Massive Dynamics.

Rubén Trujillo Fernández on Wed, 24th Jun 2009 10:34 am

Haha, funny, I like #4 very much.

“Steve Jobs created iNternet….” So bad…

keloide on Wed, 24th Jun 2009 10:41 am

Steve Jobs nixed the floppy cus the OS team never managed to make it format without rendering the machine useless!
(I bet you didnt remeber that one :D)

jz1492 on Wed, 24th Jun 2009 1:12 pm

The “Next Big Thing”? Steve Jobs new liver is actually the first personal bio-computer with DBA (Direct Brain Access). Steve has been in desperate need of such a device since verbal + typed traditional human communication has been too slow for him –he has the next 20 years of inventions already in his head.
At the next keynote, expect “A dozen last things”.
(Multi-touch input was left out at Steve’s request).

Kael on Wed, 24th Jun 2009 9:27 pm