New study shows iPhone users’ vans rock twice as often as Android users’ vans

Well, the big news in the Mac-o-web today seems to be this graph, taken out of this poll, which seems to show that iPhone users have TWICE as much sex as Android users.

I of course have my theories on this data, which mainly boil down to owning an Android phone is not impressive to anyone, and owning an iPhone is, similar to the way owning a BMW might appear more impressive than owning a Hyundai. Like it or not, expensive, sexy cars, gadgets, clothes and houses tend to turn people on, and boot knocking often ensues. This is not to say an Android phone or a Hyundai car is horrible, but just like a Hyundai is trying to be a cheap Honda, the Droid phones are iPhone knock offs, plain and simple. And yes, both are cheaper than that which they aspire to copy, with Android Phones actually being given away free with phone contracts, while iPhones are backordered and have 10 hour lines wrapping around their stores.

Figures don’t lie

Coincidentally enough, I can back up the data laid out in the graph above from my own personal experience based on something that happened just this morning. As you know, the Bride of Macenstein and I both have iPhones, and we banged mightily last night. However, today, while on vacation with my brother and his wife (both Android users) I accidentally interrupted them having sex (returning their 1-year old daughter I had been watching to their room, quite by accident I assure you). I felt horrible, but I had to laugh when I saw this graph. It appears I personally know TWO Android users who actually have less sex than iPhones users. Numbers don’t lie, people, even if the iPhone users are the cause.

Comments
6 Responses to “New study shows iPhone users’ vans rock twice as often as Android users’ vans”
  1. photogirl says:

    I’m with you Doc! My husband and I are both iPhone users…. HELLLLOOO!! 😉

  2. Vas the Man says:

    Hey, that study doesn’t say iPhone users get more sex, jut that they have more different sexual partners. They could all be one-night stands in the case of iPhone users. A better headline would be, “new study proves iPhone users are twice as slutty as Blackbery users!”

  3. Tim says:

    Now break it down to the time the different OS’ were on the market ^^

  4. exodus says:

    Nice story doc,
    but I have to clarify, this graph doesn’t show how often you have sex. It’s displaying how many sexual partners a phone user has at age 30. What I read here, is that iphone owners are more promiscuous than other smart phone users, and, more interestingly, female smart phone users get it on with more partners than their male counterparts.
    -ex

  5. Imagine Engine says:

    Instead of the Mile High Club we should start calling it the Mile Line Club for iPhone users 😉

  6. dood says:

    Well, I am apparently a huge slut or this a pretty weird sample set.

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