4 Apple rumors that everyone needs to shut up about

If there’s one thing we Apple fanboys love more than Apple gear, it’s rumors about new Apple gear. However, often times these rumors are little more than someone stating the obvious, or worse, REstating the already stated, just with a slightly adjusted (but still vague) future date. Somehow, despite providing no new information or hard evidence (photos, prototypes), these rumors still manage to grab headlines and traffic for a site every time someone decides to rehash them. It’s not so much that these rumors wouldn’t be cool if they turned out to be true, it’s that they obviously ARE going to happen – it’s just a matter of WHEN. And “when” is something only Apple knows for sure (as evidenced by how many times we’ve heard these reports over the years with nothing to show for them). To that end, we have compiled a list of the top 4 Apple rumors that the press needs to shut up about.

iPhone coming to Verizon in 2011. For almost 4 years now analysts have predicted the iPhone will be coming to Verizon’s network, and obviously one day someone will be right. But seriously, just because a legitimate publication like Fortune now claims it is going to happen doesn’t mean we should forget that they have reported on rumors of a Verizon iPhone for the past four years. While all the recent rumblings that Apple has begun producing iPhones that will run on the Verizon network probably are true at this point, there have literally been over a dozen “confirmed” reports by reputable publications like Fortune and Bloomberg over the years stating the same thing (In fact, take a look at our Verizon iPhone rumor retrospective). In fact the only variable in these reports is the date, which appears to be a moving target. So yes, there WILL be a Verizon iPhone, but odds are we won’t know when this is going to happen until Apple calls a special event, and even then, they’ll likely pre-announce it by 3 months. So let’s all calm down. If you have been holding out for the last four years for a Verizon iPhone, you’re an idiot. I understand there were/are areas where AT&T’s service was/is lackluster, but if you’re such a damn Verizon fanatic, just keep your Verizon phone, buy an iPod touch, and shut up.

iPad 2 will be thinner, faster, and have a camera. Duh, Duh, and Duh. Seriously, anyone claiming exclusive knowledge of this is an asshole. All it takes to predict the iPad 2’s weight loss is to hold a current version of an Apple product in one hand, and the previous model in the other hand (iPhone 3G and 3Gs notwithstanding). As for the camera, if the Facetime demo didn’t convince you that Apple is going to add video chat to the iPad, then perhaps a simple look at Apple’s hardware releases will help clarify why this is a certainty. Apple has a very clear history of holding back at least one (and as many as four) seemingly “must-have” features from its first generation mobile devices. It really is as if Apple designs the 4th generation model of a device first, then works backwards, stripping away features it feels are desirable enough to warrant upgrading in order to create the first, second and third generation models. So yes, a camera is coming in version 2, so shut up.

Apple TV will support apps. When geeks began taking apart the new Apple TV, what they discovered was that Apple had basically released an iPad without a screen. It runs more or less the same OS, has similar guts, and 8 GB of memory. So yes, perhaps you aren’t going to see Flight Control on the Apple TV, but I would say it’s a safe bet you’re going to see an eventual crossover of some apps onto the Apple TV. Heck, we already have YouTube and Netflix there, and while they may not have the cute little Springboard full of square icons to launch them, it’s more or less the same thing. Patents dating back a couple of years have shown people using an iPhone in a similar manner as a Wii controller to control action on the TV, so yes, it is coming, with games, and Nintendo should be scared. But no one knows when yet, so shut up.

(Honorable Mention) The Beatles coming to iTunes This rumor only receives honorable mention status because in order to make this list I have to be A) 100% sure it is going to happen and B) so sick of reading about it that I want to pour bleach in my eyes. So while I am not 100% sure this will ever happen, I sure as hell wish people would stop predicting this. If it happens, great, If it doesn’t, well, it’s a bunch 55 year old songs that pretty much everyone already owns in some (uncompressed) form. As much as I like the Beatles’ music, they rival only KISS in the number of remasters and greatest hits albums that appear to surface, trying to squeeze one more dollar from their fans. So if Yoko needs a new indoor pool in one of her living rooms and decides to release the catalog, great. If not, we’ll live. Either way, shut up.

Conclusion
To reiterate: I am not bashing these rumors. I want each and every one of them to turn out to be true, and I am 100% positive that they all WILL in fact come true – at some point. The problem I have with these rumors is that with each new rehash, we’re getting ZERO new information. All we get is another vague date such as “late 2010″ or “the second quarter of 2011″ in an attempt to grab headlines. By the time those dates actually roll around with no new device, there’s always someone new looking to grab some publicity by re-predicting the exact same rumor with a new set of iron clad inside sources, this time with an extra 5 months tacked on. So let’s all chill out people. We’ll know when Steve announces them, and not before. Just be content in the knowledge that we all KNOW they’re going to happen, and let’s all just shut up.

Comments
6 Responses to “4 Apple rumors that everyone needs to shut up about”
  1. J-Adow says:

    So Say We All……

  2. Colin says:

    So you used 738 words to explain, in detail, the rumors you want everyone else to stop talking about? Hypocrite! :-p

  3. Marco says:

    Hypocrite is right!

  4. dawson says:

    agreed. I seem to be unable to stop myself from clicking on rumors of the Verizon iPhone, and invariably all I get is a “sources have confirmed to us that in Q1 (Q2, Q3 etc 2010, 2011, 2012 etc) that Verizon will carry the iPhone”.

    They know these rumors are crack to me and others like me, and they are enablers!
    Bastards!

  5. gw says:

    Somebody been watching a lot of walt mosspuppet recently?

  6. Rob says:

    Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays…

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