Dictator Defense: The Most Addictive Defense Game since Fieldrunners
As a reviewer, one of the best indications that you should write about a game is that you do not want to stop playing the game long enough to write about it. Dictator Defense ($2.99 iTunes) by Digital Chocolate is just such a game for me, and it basically ate my entire weekend.
Meet the dictators
Digital Chocolate is one of my favorite, if not consistent, iPhone game developers. When they hit it, they knock it out of the park, and when they miss, they really blow it. But they definitely hit a big one with Dictator Defense. At its heart it’s a castle defense game, with just a hint of tower defense thrown in. The idea is that over the course of 40 levels (spread over 4 different dictators) you must defend your wall from being overrun by the various enemy forces. As the game progresses you unlock the ability to use different weapons as well as upgrade the ones you already have. Read more
Attention pushy, over-achieving parents: All Brain Quest iPhone titles on sale now
Filed under: Awesomeness, Games, deals, iPhone, iPod Touch
Whether you are a domineering parent set on your little Doogie Howser congratulating medical school at age 16 or just someone who’s having a hard time justifying buying your 6 year-old their own iPod touch simply to play games (guilty), you really can’t go wrong with the insane price cuts on Modality’s Brain Quest Titles. I actually bought the Brain Quest Grade 2 and Brain Quest Grade 3 versions for my daughter a couple months ago at $9.99 a piece, but this week the titles have all dropped to 99¢.
As far as forced learning goes, I find the Brain Quest games have been a pleasure to use in blackmailing my child into learning. I simply say that before she is allowed to play a REAL game on her iPod touch or watch an episode of Wizards of Waverly Place, she needs to complete a level or two on Brain Quest, and it works like a charm.
Right now all 6 Brain Quest titles: Brain Quest Grade 2, Brain Quest Grade 3, Brain Quest Grade 4, Brain Quest Grade 5, Brain Quest Grade 6, and Brain Quest Grade 7 are all on sale for just 99¢. I picked up grades 4 and 5, figuring by the time she’s ready for grades 6 and 7 she’ll be using an iTablet and whatever apps THAT has.
Review: Totemo – My New Time Burglar
As odd as it may seem, not all iPhone games begin life on the iPhone. Game maker Hexage seems to have an “Android first” mentality that while seemingly a ludicrous waste of time from a business standpoint, at least lets them iron out most of their games bugs before porting to a “real” platform. One such game is their newly released Totemo, a sort of match 3 (or 4) puzzler that has become a true time burglar for me recently, so I decided to share my love/hate (but mainly love) relationship with the game.
The idea behind the game is fairly simple, although I’ll do my best to confuse you. There are two modes of gameplay – the misnamed “Story” mode, and the addictive, timed “Survival” mode – but the rules are the same for both. Basically you start each level with a series of colorful, Read more
The app is rated 9+, but I think the icon might be NC-17
So Capcom’s new Ghosts’n'Goblins Gold for the iPhone is out, and – GOOD LORD ARTHUR’S PACKING!!!.
Above: I remember in the NES version Arthur having a slight bulge, but this is just disturbing.
Well, the good news is I doubt any Ghost or Goblin will come within 20 feet of this guy.
Who the hell made this icon?!? Whoever it was got a little confused on the whole Excalibur legend. As I recall the Lady of the Lake bestowed a giant SWORD upon King Arthur, not a giant… uh… codpiece. Although quite frankly this could make for a much more legendary tale…
Memovator: The Toughest Game You’ll Ever Love (or love to hate)
Filed under: Games, Product Reviews, iPhone, iPod Touch
When it comes to the iPhone, it seems casual games have enjoyed the greatest success, and it doesn’t get any more casual than a game that almost always ends in 2 or 3 minutes. Memovator is just such a game, or at least it is for me.
Like most great games, Memovator is extremely simple to play, yet extremely difficult to master. The game puts you in the role of an elevator operator – an occupation not seen since the days of Looney Tunes cartoons. As each person enters the elevator, they will tell you which of the 20 floors they would like to get off on. The elevator makes a constant loop from floor 1 to 20 and back down again. When you hit a requested floor, just tap anywhere on the screen to stop the elevator and let the passengers out and let new ones in. Simple, right? Well, try it, and see how far you get. I’m stuck around 27 or so… without cheating, that is. (Incidentally, If you are interested in reading about a Memovator cheat that could give you a score of 200 or more, check out our sister site The iPhone Cheat Sheet). Read more
A game you may not want to win
Want a sneak peek at Apple’s next iPod touch commercial? I’m pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before we see Mystery Butt showcased by Apple set to a catchy tune.
What’s so interesting about Mystery Butt is it’s a game that you really shouldn’t be all that proud to be good at. I mean sure, most of us can tell the difference between a penguin’s butt and an elephant’s butt, but if you can make the call between a Seagull and a Pelican, well, you should probably feel a little conflicted submiting your score to the global leader board. (Yes, it has a global leader board).
This is why virgins shouldn’t write sex apps
And just how the hell am I supposed to do that?
Purely for research purposes I decided to check out “A Sexy Party Game for Lovers 1.5“, one of the 40,000 “sex game-themed” apps on the iTunes store. And I hate to admit it, but apparently I am doing EVERYTHING wrong.
Hopefully the next tip says “Make up some excuse for your creepy behavior, like claim you have asthma, and try to get them back into the room.”
Getting turned on yet? This one actually should be easy, as I assume at this point their “secret fantasy” is that you’ll STOP massaging their hands.
Is this even physically possible? Whisper about one thing while singing about another..? Hold on, let me count my mouths… One… Um.
This guy also has an unhealthy fascination with people’s shoulders. Although not quite enough of an obsession to have learned to spell the word correctly… (Warning the following is NSFW. Not because it says anything dirty, but God help you if someone sees you reading this…) Read more
Melon Golf: Tim Burton meets Tiger Woods
Filed under: Games, Product Reviews, iPhone, iPod Touch
Just thought I’d throw out a recommendation to iPhone-physics lovers of a game I’ve been playing the past few days – Melon Golf
As you play each round you can unlock Stars which will in turn unlock bonus rounds in the Nightmare Course.
I think the reason I like Melon Golf so much is that it really has very little to do with Golf – it’s actually much more similar to games like Cannon Challenge and Castle Smasher than golf. The object of the game is to launch your “melon” towards the “hole” in the recommended number of shots or less (like Golf) but the launching/aiming mechanism is more akin to launching type games with a “power” and “angle” setting for each shot. The video below will give a better idea of the overall game mechanics, as well as the eerily wonderful visuals, as the game really needs to be seen in motion to be appreciated.
The first level (easy) is fairly straight forward and just introduces you to the way the game is played, but as you go you unlock harder levels, and the obstacles between you and the hole become more creative (as do your solutions to overcoming them). Read more
Game maker uses iTablet rumors to plug its iPhone game
OK, the compositing leaves a bit to be desired, but this insanely fake “iTablet” leaked video running the upcoming iPhone tower-defense game “Towers of War” by Conniption Entertainment is still a pretty clever promotional idea, given how high the demand for iTablet rumors has gotten these days.
BTW, I wouldn’t mind testing that game out, if the developers are reading this.
“iFlighter Control” totally revamps the Flight Control genre
Filed under: Apple Bashing, Cynicism, Games, Theft, iPhone
If you look quickly at these shots of the new game iFlighter Control you might foolishly think the game is a total rip-off of the wildly successful game Flight Control which has dominated the iTunes charts for months. But if you look closely, you’ll notice that the developers cleverly moved the pause button to the top of the screen from the bottom, thus totally changing the gameplay, and completely justifying Apple letting this original gem of a game through. Bravo Apple! Bravo!
iFlighter Control
As you can see, the games may APPEAR identical, right down to the fonts, but by moving the placement of the pause button, iFlighter Control’s developers really pushed the envelope in game development, and deserve to be applauded.
Flight Control
