This is exactly why I won’t eat at Johnny Rockets

November 19, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein · 25 Comments
Filed under: Apple Fanboyism, Microsoft Bashing, WTF 

Man, I was JUST about to break down and go to the Microsoft store when luckily faithful Macenstein reader Chuck sent us this video of a COMPLETELY SPONTANEOUS AND UNSTAGED employee dance session. As with all Microsoft Store videos, the best part is watching the reactions (or complete lack thereof) of the hapless customers, who I assume were just there to get out of the rain or something.

The app is rated 9+, but I think the icon might be NC-17

November 10, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein · 1 Comment
Filed under: Games, WTF, design, iPhone 

So Capcom’s new Ghosts’n'Goblins Gold for the iPhone is out, and – GOOD LORD ARTHUR’S PACKING!!!.


Above: I remember in the NES version Arthur having a slight bulge, but this is just disturbing.

Well, the good news is I doubt any Ghost or Goblin will come within 20 feet of this guy.

Who the hell made this icon?!? Whoever it was got a little confused on the whole Excalibur legend. As I recall the Lady of the Lake bestowed a giant SWORD upon King Arthur, not a giant… uh… codpiece. Although quite frankly this could make for a much more legendary tale…

iPhone Engrish of the day: TimerMusicStop

October 22, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Awesomeness, Humor, WTF, iPhone 

Faithful Macenstein reader James writes:

“Hey Doc, I remember that you had a couple articles awhile back that highlighted some bad App Store Engrish. Thought this may qualify…my brother and I still have no idea what it does. Something with time? :)”


TimerMusicStop’s description:

iPod you want to stop in time but want to listen to music for?
Interest in a case like! !
Usage is simple. Time to stop the roll set time, please switch to ON.
Then the music stops They added time.

You’re on the right track James. At first I thought it was simply a “put the iPod’s music to sleep” timer app, but after re-reading the description two dozen times, it is clear that TimerMusicStop apparently can stop time itself by “adding time”. Otherwise Apple would not have approved the app, as the iPhone already has a built-in timer feature which can turn off the iPod’s music, and we all know Apple will not approve an app (Google Voice) that duplicates existing functionality.

A game you may not want to win

October 20, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein · 3 Comments
Filed under: Games, WTF, iPhone 

Want a sneak peek at Apple’s next iPod touch commercial? I’m pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before we see Mystery Butt showcased by Apple set to a catchy tune.

What’s so interesting about Mystery Butt is it’s a game that you really shouldn’t be all that proud to be good at. I mean sure, most of us can tell the difference between a penguin’s butt and an elephant’s butt, but if you can make the call between a Seagull and a Pelican, well, you should probably feel a little conflicted submiting your score to the global leader board. (Yes, it has a global leader board).

This is why virgins shouldn’t write sex apps

October 16, 2009 by Dr. Macenstein · 18 Comments
Filed under: Games, History, WTF, iPhone 

sexy iPhone apps

And just how the hell am I supposed to do that?

Purely for research purposes I decided to check out “A Sexy Party Game for Lovers 1.5“, one of the 40,000 “sex game-themed” apps on the iTunes store. And I hate to admit it, but apparently I am doing EVERYTHING wrong.

sexy iPhone apps

Hopefully the next tip says “Make up some excuse for your creepy behavior, like claim you have asthma, and try to get them back into the room.”

sexy iPhone apps

Getting turned on yet? This one actually should be easy, as I assume at this point their “secret fantasy” is that you’ll STOP massaging their hands.

sexy iPhone apps

Is this even physically possible? Whisper about one thing while singing about another..? Hold on, let me count my mouths… One… Um.

This guy also has an unhealthy fascination with people’s shoulders. Although not quite enough of an obsession to have learned to spell the word correctly… (Warning the following is NSFW. Not because it says anything dirty, but God help you if someone sees you reading this…) Read more

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