Why does it seem that only old people win stuff?
Filed under: Cynicism, Opinion, Slow News Day, You Bet I'm Pissed
When it was announced yesterday that the winner of the iTunes 10 billionth song giveaway was 71 year-old Louie Sulcer, I was torn. On the one hand, I was happy for Louie – he seems like a nice fellow, easy going, and into Johnny Cash apparently. But on the other hand, I HATE Louie with a passion. Why? Because he’s OLD, that’s why.
Now granted, Louie appears to be more with it than your average 71 year-old in that he not only owns an iPod but actually knows how to purchase songs for it via the iTunes store. But let’s face it, odds are even if Louie bought two songs a day for the rest of his life (we’ll estimate he’s got about 13 years left, given his age and weight) he STILL won’t be able to go through that $10,000 in iTunes points.
The same thing goes for the big multi-state lotteries. I can’t remember the last PowerBall or Mega Millions that wasn’t won by someone over 65.
I’m not bitter about Louie’s win (although I AM bitter about losing all the Mega Millions drawings). I didn’t try buying an iTunes song Wednesday even though all the Mac sites predicted the winning song was going to be bought that day. “You have to be in it to win it” as they say, and I have long since switched to buying songs on the cheaper Amazon store. But something about seeing a 71 year-old win anything technological just pisses me off. I feel like he won a Slingbox, 50 feet of Cat5 cable, a Roomba, and an Xbox 360 Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition Console.
I know I’m insensitive, but it just feels wrong. Am I crazy?
Why is Apple treating apps differently than movies and songs?
Filed under: Apple Bashing, Cynicism, That's Weird..., WTF, stupid
For quite a few years now Apple has been selling R-rated movies and sexually explicit songs on its iTunes store. In fact, half of the current Top 10 movies on iTunes are either Rated R or Unrated for scenes of nudity and sexual content.
Currently 20% of Apple’s top 100 iTunes music chart are labeled as “explicit”, due to profanity and strong sexual material.
Despite having the same ratings and parental controls in place for Applications as they do for movies and music, two days ago Apple inexplicably decided to begin pulling all apps from the app store that contain “objectionable” sexual material. One developer, jonaeu from Chilifresh, whose “Wobble” app was pulled (despite not containing any nudity or even images of women) actually called Apple and received the following outline for what types of content are now too sexually explicit for the app store:
1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)
2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)
3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)
4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)
5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned
6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble “overtly sexual!)
7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)
So what’s the deal? The cult horror classic “Last House on the Left” (iTunes link) has a very disturbing rape scene of teenage girls, but apparently that’s fine. However a shot of a woman wearing a bikini is now taboo. It’s fine for Apple to sell songs about “Fucking ho’s”, but a silhouette of a girl is now no longer allowed in an app.
What am I missing here?
Is it just me or isn’t letting “kids” buy movies and songs featuring celebrities that they idolize, acting out and speaking explicitly about sex far more damaging than allowing an app featuring CLOTHED WOMEN (albeit not wearing exactly snow pants) to be sold? Let me remind you, none of the apps being pulled by Apple currently contain ANY nudity, nor images of people having sex. In fact, despite having a 17+ rating, NONE of them actually contain anything that a PG-13 movie doesn’t. They simply show attractive women in bathing suits. However, there is full frontal nudity and full on sex available for sale in the iTunes Movie store.
Even more baffling is that, at the moment at least, Apple has allowed both the Playboy and Sport Illustrated apps to remain in the store. In fact, one developer who recently had his Bikini girl app “Box Score Babes” pulled posted this comparison between his app and the SI swimsuit app which is still available for sale.
The only logical explanation?
Well, actually I wouldn’t call it “logical”, but all I can think is that Apple is SEVERELY over-reacting to whatever bizarre letter writing campaign a couple of religious yokels have organized, and decided to clean up the app store to make their iPod touch more like “Nintendo”. Of course, this is a ridiculous argument as any kid old enough to have their own iTunes account (and credit card) knows how to type in “blow job” into the Safari browser and get ACTUAL sexual content on their iPod. In fact, most of them probably already know that Bing is even better for doing this. Whether we like it or not, this is not 1980, and seeing girls in bikinis with the word “Babes” under them is actually the tamest thing these kids are likely to encounter. To my mind, naming apps like these with the words “babes” or “boobs” is a good thing, as that is how they will appear on their parent;s credit cards.
But whatever the reason, Apple is really acting like a bunch of puritanical hypocrites here, and I just hope they come to their senses. And not just because we were 4 days away from releasing our official Mac Chick of the Month app.
… Although I’m not holding my breath. I can’t remember the last time Apple ever admitted one of their policies was wrong or changed their mind about any decision.
Oh, and by the way, you can buy the full 2 Live Crew discology on iTunes. And yes, the album covers feature girls in bikinis
Apple Store Wedding looks as uncomfortable as you’d think
Filed under: Apple Fanboyism, Cynicism, Geek Love, video
As big a fanboy as I am, and as understanding as the Bride of Macenstein is, I don’t think I would ever attempt to get married in an Apple store. It’s sort of like getting married in your mistress’s apartment. Yet that’s what the Li’s did this Sunday (Valentine’s Day). Yes, there’s nothing like committing to spend the rest of your life with someone as strangers shop disinterestedly for iPod cases nearby. It’s GOT to be what Mrs. Li drew pictures of as a girl.
For those of you keeping track at home, getting married in a publicity-stunt-like manner ON Valentine’s Day is TWO strikes. Oh, and getting married by a guy dressed as Steve Jobs? That’s like 10 more strikes.
I give this marriage 3 years.
[via switched]
WOW this makes Apple look really bad if it’s true
Personally I see no reason for Apple to be quaking in its boots over Google’s Android platform, but apparently it is as according to Flash of Genius, the developers of a SAT test prep app called Flash of Genius: SAT Vocab 2.2, Apple has “asked” them to remove all references to Android in their app description.
That’s right, apparently you are no longer allowed to let people know your app placed in the Google’s Android Developer’s Challenge for fear someone about to download it will cancel their iPhone service, buy an Android phone, and then purchase the app there. Or maybe Apple’s hatred of “Flash” runs so deep they’re just looking to mess with a company with “Flash” in its name.
Here’s the full letter Sent to Flash of Genius
Dear Flash of Genius, LLC,
Thank you for submitting Flash of Genius: SAT Vocab 2.2 to the App Store. During our review of your application, we found that your application contains inappropriate or irrelevant platform information in the Application Description and/or Release Notes sections.
Providing future platform compatibility plans or other general platform references are not relevant in the context of the iPhone App Store. While your application has not been rejected, it would be appropriate to remove “Finalist in Google’s Android Developer’s Challenge!” from the Application Description [Emphasis added].
Please log into iTunes Connect to make appropriate changes to the Application Description now to avoid an interruption in the availability of Flash of Genius: SAT Vocab 2.2 on the iPhone App Store.
Regards,
iPhone Developer Program
You know, with the Super Bowl just 2 days away, it might be time to take another look at Apple’s famous 1984 ad…
[via The Next Web]
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