Apple stock climbs to “dangerous� levels - Macenstein

Apple stock climbs to “dangerous� levels

Posted by Igor

Apple stock rose yet again in active trading this morning, gaining $1.40, or 2.31%, and reaching a new high of $57.50 by 12 PM (EST). Apple’s stock price has caused considerable concern on Wall Street as of late, as The Street’s Walter Emmerling explained in a recent article. “Apple’s stock is quickly approaching the $60 mark which many analysts have set as an achievable price target.” writes Emmerling. “The problem is, if Apple’s stock should actually hit that goal, the Earth will stop rotating, and its molten core will freeze solid.”

While this is welcome news to anti-global warming advocates, Julie Stitzenberg of the Wildlife Conservation Society says it actually poses a great threat to all living creatures on the planet, with the possible exception of Penguins. “I love the iPod as much as anyone”, writes Stitzenberg. “But if having 15,000 songs in my pocket means the end of life on Earth as we know it, then what’s the point?” - Anime Super Store

5 Responses to “Apple stock climbs to “dangerousâ€? levels”
  1. Rodney King says:

    Maybe Apple should consider a stock split to save the world, and keep Hell from freezing over!

  2. macula says:

    somewhere there’s a joke tying this to the quad g5 story but i’m not that clever. surely someone here can do it…

  3. how about…”Apple says if the stock price get’s past $59.60, it will arrange for a shipment of G5 quads to be transported to the Earth’s core to restart it.”

  4. P. Ramm says:

    how about… “Since the combined core temperatures of a G5 Quad will likely exceed that of the Earth’s core…”

  5. polar bear says:

    pleeze let it freeze

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