Gil Amelio buys Pixar - Macenstein

Gil Amelio buys Pixar

Posted by Igor

In a bizarre and completely unexpected turn of events, former Apple CEO Gil Amelio took over daily operations of Pixar Animation Studios, after the settlement of a recent class action lawsuit against Pixar caused its stock price to drop almost 90% or $50 a share to close at $4.50 Thursday afternoon. Venture capitalist Gil Amelio swept in to buy up as much stock as he could, and apparently was able to bring about a hostile takeover of the animation studio.

When asked about the wisdom of buying such a financially beleaguered company, Amelio replied, “I am not at all worried. I am considered a ‘turn around’ kind of CEO. If a company is doing well, I can turn it around. It only stands to reason it should work the other way as well.�

Amelio wasted no time in outlining his vision for Pixar’s future. “I have this kind of neat idea for a movie. It’s a 3D cartoon about a family of tape worms living inside a wildebeest named Chok Chok, in sub-Saharan Africa. It will be called “Wilde-Feast�, and the dialogue will be recorded entirely in Latin, Aramaic, or Hebrew, like Passion of the Christ, which, I don’t think I need to tell anyone, was a HUGE hit.�

Pixar stock fell an additional 100% after the news.

26 Responses to “Gil Amelio buys Pixar”
  1. Wolfman Mac says:

    That 3rd paragraph is the godamn funniest thing i have read in a long time.

  2. The title was enough for me.
    Good one.

  3. Tice says:

    Do we have April again? ; ) Haha, the tape worms are great!

  4. Trump's Baby says:

    Oh, I can see the McDonald’s tie-ins already…free tape worms in every Happy Meal! Amelio’s a genius!

  5. Rus says:

    Not funny … lame attempt at hit whoring!

  6. Trump's Baby says:

    Speaking of hit whore’s…
    Rus’ website has more ads than I have ever seen.
    (aside from this one)

  7. What is that site anyway?
    Seems like he is just complaining about things.

  8. Chris says:

    Again, as Rus said, misleading title … again … to induce hits. Save it for the beginning of April.

  9. I don’t get Chris and Rus at all.
    This is filed under HUMOR.
    There are different sections to this site.
    How is that trying to get clicks falsely?
    they aren’t saying HEY! WE HAVE AN EXCLUSIVE NEWS STORY.
    It is obviously a joke. How are they misleading anyone?
    What link did you click to get here?
    I clicked a CLEARLY labeled HUMOR link off Mac Bytes.

    Screw Rus, and Screw Chris, Dr. M.
    I’m lovin’ it.

    Keep up the good work.

  10. Chok Chok says:


  11. I am Joking says:


    does this mean that Pixar doesn’t exist! I can’t believe this!

  12. Rus says:

    And how are my paid advertisers making me a hit whore? The ads are laid out nicely. And thanks for calling me a complaint site …

    1) Jackwhispers was named part of the CNET BLOG 100

    2) Cnet, CNN Money, Wired, and other respected news outlets use my site as a a footnote

    3) I have successfully managed to take action against several parties for the good of the Mac consumer: Jack Campbell being first and foremost

    I didn’t post a link to my site – you went there.

    This story was just stupid (joke or not) and would be “mildly entertaining” if it were April 1st. But it’s not.

  13. Sorry Rus, your site’s awesome.
    I didn’t realize it was a footnote.

    But are you saying there is only one day a year for website humor?
    I can understand you not finding something funny, but you seem ANGRY that it was posted. What is the difference between posting something funny and posting a news article?
    Both are designed to drive traffic to a website.
    One is meant to enlighten, and one is meant to lighten the mood.
    I don’t see why a humor article is a click whore, and a news article is not.
    Are you saying you just stumbled to the article by accident?
    Like I said, I found it on MacBytes under HUMOR.
    I don’t feel I was misled into clicking on the link at all.
    I knew it was going to be funny.(or was supposed to be)
    PLUS the post itself says it is posted in humor, it is in this site’s HUMOR section, and lastly, the headline is so out there, it is OBVIOUSLY humor.
    Methinks you might be more Spock than Kirk, my friend.

  14. macula says:


    thanks rus for setting us all straight. i’m sure you have the creativity and sense of humor to some up with something as good as the macensteins do regularly. can’t wait til we’re allowed to see them in 06.

  15. Trump's Baby says:

    Ha Ha HA!
    I love forum fights.

    sounds like Rus is now complaining on THIS site too…

    Rus, how are your ads laid out noticeably different from this site?
    (except that your amazon ad is out of aspect)

    ALL sites are click whores. How else would they pay for bandwidth?
    what a dick.

  16. Rus says:

    I don’t post stories to get hits … I post because they are interesting to me (and apparently many many readers)

    I didn’t say anything about there only being one day to post stories like this … I just said it was stupid and a lame attempt to get a story that’s a traffic driver to this site (I too clicked from MacBytes) and YES I knew it was humor.

    To Trump Baby (who says anything to incite a flame) – I don’t pay for bandwidth. There are other revenue streams than ads. And my ads are unique to my site in that I create them – no annoying gif moving images…

    Find another hole to crawl into mmkay.

  17. Trump's Baby says:


    First of all, you are crazy.

    Second, if you write about things because they are interesting, how is it your articles are so boring?

    Thirdly, take down your ads if they do not provide you with revenue streams and you are writing for the good of mankind.

    I have a feeling your “other revenue stream” relies heavily upon soliciting truckers for oral sex at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel.
    And I imagine you make a lot of money, because you love what you do.

  18. Crackers In My Mouth says:

    Rus –
    Don’t listen to these idiots.
    Your site rocks!
    Lou Costello.

  19. MacJunkie82 says:

    Wow… The flame war is funnier than the article (but I do enjoy the humor section)… heh 😀

  20. Rus, be honest.
    Your site blows and you are WAAAY too into it to be able to look at it objectionably.

    Who wants to read 18 paragraphs about how you had trouble returning something to some store? RESTOCKING FEE?!?!?

    If you were Pam F-ing Anderson, I MIGHT be able put up with the long drawn out narcissistic rambling, but DAMN!
    I don’t see education or entertainment anywhere on the site.
    I agree with Trump’s Baby on that point.

    And you may want to consider adding moving gifs to your ads.
    It might draw your visitors’ eyes away from that horrible copy.

  21. OK boys, take it outside.
    Everyone’s allowed their opinion.

  22. IsItMe says:

    Umm… rather serious flamewar for a humor section. Whatever. I thought the article was funny and am glad you posted it. Those who do not like it, don’t come to this section anymore.

    And what is up with insulting people anyway? Everyone should have an opinion. Why must I be an ass because I disagree with yours? Trolls exist. Why doe ssomeone have to be a “bad person” because they post things to get people to their site. Last I checked, that is the point of making a website… to get people to visit.

  23. My name is luca. I live on the second floor. I live upstairs from you. I think you have seen me before.

  24. Wolfman Mac says:

    I agree with Luca.

  25. Bride of macenstein says:

    I love you Dr. Macenstein!
    Will you marry me?

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