Steve Wozniak mauls 2 children
Posted by Igor
Steve Wozniak emerged from hibernation prematurely this week and mauled 2 young children who were playing too close to the woods, a park ranger said Thursday. “It appears the family was camping nearby, and the children wandered off. All indications are the children woke the hibernating Wozniak accidentally while playing.” Tragically, Mr. Wozniak had already eaten one of the children before help could arrive. The 2nd child is listed in serious, but stable condition.
Above: A passing hiker snapped this photograph just seconds before the mauling took place
Due to his celebrity status, no charges are expected to be filed against Mr. Wozniak. Park officials used tranquilizers darts to sedate him without incident.
“We will be relocating “The Woz” to a more secluded area of the reserve,” a park spokesman said.
When asked about rumors that park officials had been contacted by FOX Television about the possibility of a ‘When WOZ Attacks’ television special, the spokesman replied, “While we are always interested in investigating potential new revenue streams for the park, we do not feel it is appropriate to comment at this time.” When further pressed, the spokesman admitted, “Nothing is concrete yet.”
HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HAHAHAHA HA!
That is the most realistic photo I have ever seen!
(what the hell was he doing originally?!?)
5 stars!
🙂
that looks like the Conan O’Brien shots where he shows Max and Joel coming to his apartment!
This is my favorite so far.
Woz! how did you do this!?
I think WOZ should have his own sit com, not just a television special!
I believe the picture came from one of Woz’s dramatic forays on the theatre stage.
this is stupid
worldpeace,
ben
lmao… great post
Another black gold blogger post
this is so dumb
This needs a bigger thread.
Woz should be hunted.