Apple admits to first iPhone-related fatality - Macenstein

Apple admits to first iPhone-related fatality

Developers have long been hungry to to get their hands on the iPhone for some time, but who would have suspected the iPhone was hungry for developers as well?

Apple has admitted on its site that an iPhone has eaten an engineer in what can only be described as a tragic turn of events.

Apple, apparently wishing to downplay the severity of the situation, buried the story in the “Job Opportunities” section of its site, and gave a somewhat detached account of the attack, more or less saying “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs”.

From the site: “The iPod Engineering Division has a strong history of designing evolutionary consumer electronics that have touched millions and changed the way people listen to music. The iPhone is the next step in that evolutionary process.”

From all appearances, something has gone horribly wrong in that particular iPhone’s evolution. It is unclear whether this was a 3G iPhone,the current 1st gen model, or perhaps an entirely new prototype model never before seen. All we know at this point was the attack occurred in Santa Clara, California. As a precautionary measure, Macenstein is recommending all iPhone users place their iPhones in a case until Apple gives further clarification on the attack.

[Thanks to faithful Macenstein reader TheCos for the link (and yes, we know this may have been our stupidest article yet)]

12 Responses to “Apple admits to first iPhone-related fatality”
  1. Pauley says:

    *dead* Hilarious. 😀

    What does ATE stand for in this case, any idea?

    — Pauley

  2. Jasper says:

    you’re so weird.

  3. John R says:

    Hilarious, but much less stupid than all those pointless “sighting” posts (unless it’s a chick who’s really cute or dressed appropriately.)

  4. Steve says:

    i love this site! good news and rumor coverage, and then fun stuff like this. thanks guys!

  5. Alan says:

    Hmm, my pet Hamster is missing, and I swear my iPhone weighs a half a pound more. Thanks for the heads up Dr. Macenstein.

  6. Jonathan/Chaplare says:

    @ Paulie…

    The only thing I can think of is Automatic Test Equipment, which is pretty broad but can be related to testing circuit boards and integrated circuits on electronic devices and parts of machines… they may be looking for an engineer skilled at testing such things, also probably documenting the results as well…

    @ Doc Mac…
    Nice silly post… for some reason I imagined a muppet like iPhone eating the engineers, as if my dreams aren’t effed up enough, now I shall have even weirder ones..

  7. I suspect the Leopard softened him up somewhat first.

  8. John says:

    ATE = automatic/automated test engineer (what I do for a living).

  9. Pauley says:

    Thanks, Jonathan and John. 🙂

    — Pauley

  10. odin says:

    I’ve been saying it all along, you can’t put multi-touch on a small portable device and not expect people to get hurt. It’s all voodoo and black magic sort of stuff.

  11. MacSheikh says:

    So they’re looking for an “Automatic/Automated Test Engineer Engineer”? 🙂

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