Apple blames iPod nano screen defects on obese Americans/tight pants - Macenstein

Apple blames iPod nano screen defects on obese Americans/tight pants

Apple today officially acknowledged that a small number of iPod nano owners have reported problems with the hot-selling music player. Customers are reporting instances where after removing the iPod nano from their front pockets (much as Steve Jobs did during the iPod nano’s famous unveiling) finding that the nano’s LCD screen is cracked, and in some instances, no longer works at all.

Apple’s SVP of Marketing Phil Schiller said today in a press release “…this issue has affected less than 1/10 of 1 percent of the total iPod nano units that we’ve shipped. It is not a design issue. It has more to do with obese Americans in tight pants putting the nano in their front jeans pocket, and then sitting for extended periods of time.”

Blaming the nano’s screen issues on fat people is not the first time Apple has come under fire for attacking its super-sized customers. In 1998 the American Obesity Association filed a complaint against Apple charging the company’s hot-selling iMac computer shipped with a miniature keyboard and mouse that could not accommodate the enlarged fingers of obese Americans. In the complaint, the AOA alleges the keyboard made correct spelling all but impossible for large fingers that would sometimes accidentally press up to 3 keys at a time. The “hockey puck” mouse that shipped with the unit was also criticized for not being able to support the increased weight of a 7 pound hand. During extended use the track ball would often become oval-shaped, causing the mouse to stop functioning corectly.

The AOA’s Gabrielle Vargas says Apple computers have always been a favorite of husky Americans, due in large part to Apple’s insistance on using the 1-button mouse. The 1 button mouse is perfectly designed for fat fingers which often find multi-button mice unwieldy. Apple has also designed its operating systems to be navigated with a single-click mouse, eliminating the need for right-clicking. “It is this loyalty from our members” says Vargas, “that has helped Apple capture over 3% of the personal computer market. For Apple to now blame manufacturing defects in its newest iPod on ‘fat people wearing tight pants’ is just plain wrong.”

According to the AOA, Approximately 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight, 60 million obese, and 9 million severely obese. If Apple worked harder to actively cater (no pun intended) to the obese, it could mean a huge (no pun intended) increase in market share.

Apple, for its part, seems to realize this. It has offered to replace the “defective” nanos. However, they are insisting that all customers weighing over 230 Pounds also agree to sign a form stating they will carry their nano in an altoids case for protection.

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128 Responses to “Apple blames iPod nano screen defects on obese Americans/tight pants”
  1. rsx_htown says:

    im fat as crap and bone ProjectR’s mother w. my nano-sized member.

  2. Bandmassa says:

    Obesity is not a disability. In all but the rarest of cases it is the result of a lifetime of poor dietry choices. It’s a bit unpolitic of Apple to issue an official statement blaming “fatties”, but really, if you stick a tiny stick of plastic and silicon in your front pocket and sit for a while with it there, you deserve it busting, fat or not. :-/

  3. Ty says:

    Uhmmm iMac keboards were too small? uhmmm isn’t the whole Nano like the size of a few keys. I mean for gosh sakes, their little fat digits couldn’t even turn the Nano on. The fats should stick to bomb-boxes, rock on 80s

  4. Ty says:

    boom and bomb LOL

  5. Ty says:

    OMG can I type? Boom-boxes NOT Bomb-boxes! There we go 🙂

  6. fatboyslim says:

    fat people should just stop eating shit like macfuckingdonalds and burger-fuc-king. if they ate normal shit like regular, non fat people, apple wouldnt have a problem

    ur all a fat fhuckers!

  7. Brad says:

    This posting is obviously in very poor taste and also probably slanderous against Apple. The only thing interesting about it is how many idiots posting comments believe that its real.

  8. lpk123 says:

    This is not true, they stated The ipod nano screen flaw affected less than 1/10th of 1 percent of the nanos that were shipped and it was from a vender flaw! You guys are trying to spread bad rumors about apple and thats just sad, act more mature.

  9. Dr. Macenstein says:

    Please check the category of the post before you rant.
    This is HUMOR.
    We love Apple.
    We are trying to spread rumors in our RUMOR section.

  10. Donnie Jeter says:

    Disabilities? You must be fat.

  11. H3XXo12 says:

    I think Dave needs to start eating apples instead of sitting aroung getting fat by playing with his apple (hehe). I’m surprised he didn’t loose the ipod in his rolls

  12. Adalgiso says:

    Quote: # David G. Says:
    September 30th, 2005 at 1:12 am

    Of course. Blame people for their disabilities, for their poverty, for their lack of education. It’s never the fault of the designer or the corporation that they make and sell product which not everybody can use. Why? To save a few pennies per unit of product–more profit. “Why should we bear the additional cost when the cost can be displaced? Let someone else pay!� Looks to me like a fundamental flaw in our laws and in our way of thinking.

    /End Quote

    Of course. Forget the fact that the vast majority of people on the WORLD, not just the United States (since the iPod sells just as well in Europe as it does in the US) are NOT obese. How can Apple be held accountable for making sure that the iPod will be compatible with every single person in the world. I’m sure that the American Institute for the Blind isn’t complaining because the iPod doesnt support Braille. Believe it or not, being obese is NOT attractive or healthy, no matter what the American Obesity Association. In addition, Mr. G., if a skinny person sat on their glasses, and they broke, is that the fault of the optician? No. It is the fault of the person who sat on their glasses. This case of iPod screens goes by the same token. I once owned a Game Boy Pocket, and I went skating with it in my pocket. When I fell down and cracked the screen, did I complain to Nintendo for not making their screens fall-on-my-ass-and-crack-proof? No. It was my fault.
    You can never please everyone.

  13. dood says:

    apple does not like fat people

  14. Wooter says:


  15. Fat People Suck says:

    Fat People Suck

  16. Fat People Suck says:

    Fatty fat fatterson. Why fat don’t fat you fat eat fat a fatty Tripple fat Bacon fat Delux fat FREEEEEAAAAAKING fat fattington fatter fat Burger!?!


    tuh tuh tuh TODAY JUNIOR!

  17. Timen says:

    Don’t complain about the screen, its all about the looks!

  18. Yuri says:

    LOL! It’s a joke you fat ninnies, a JOKE!

    Or is this a case of people losing their sense of humour because they’re way-y-y-y too fat, but don’t want to admit and that it’s their own fat fault.

    (BTW, started a diet 4 weeks ago, lost 4.7kg so far).

  19. pretendingtobewise says:

    yeah honestly, saying being fat is a dissability is jus the kind of excuse to slack off and continue to be fat and feel guilty about it … we all have problems, learn NOT to make excuses, get off your lazy ass and do something! … or just learn to accept / enjoy what you are, excuses suck!

    check out Yuri, lost 4.7kg in 4 weeks, pretty darn cool~

  20. Peter says:

    I am not the skinniest person, but I know that it is not apple’s responsibility. I have lost some weight but if my nano broke i would not complain to apple nor do i take offense when someone tells me I’m fat. So if your fat and you take offense and your complaining to apple

  21. Eric B says:

    The guy writes, “lose some wait dave” and then corrects himself incorrectly by changing the word ‘lose’ to ‘loose’. Dude, it’s not ‘wait’, it’s ‘weight’…and lose is correct

    So, you meant to write ‘lose some weight’ but ended up with ‘loose some wait’. You might want to learn the English language before you actually use it.

  22. fred says:

    Gee, this point has been pointed out add nauseum. The Irony has been ironed out.

    tee hee!

  23. JP says:

    Hilarious – It’s so funny. OK So this IS NOT A REAL ARTICLE it’s a joke. But so so funny, especially that one saying:

    “Fatty fat fatterson. Why fat don’t fat you fat eat fat a fatty Tripple fat Bacon fat Delux fat FREEEEEAAAAAKING fat fattington fatter fat Burger!?!


    tuh tuh tuh TODAY JUNIOR! ”


    “I’m surprised he didn’t loose the ipod in his rolls”

    HA HA! That’s Great!

    People seriously need to take a joke – and take note of that whole “HUMOUR” section lol.

  24. pjdk says:

    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a chair.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a table.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a car.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a comb.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a TV.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use a door.
    It’s nobodys fault if you can’t use an iPod.

    I’m fat, but at least i know what my body can do. Nobody can be held reponsible for my actions unless i’m forced to or unconscious.

  25. Name says:

    haha fat bastards… they need to stop complaining to everyone about them being fat
    its McDonalds fault for making you all fat
    its the Planes fault if you cant sit in the chair
    its the cars fault if u cant sit in
    fat people need to stop blaming others for their obesity!
    stop whining, the skinny people dont care anymore
    get a bigger ipod if your fat, the nano’s too small for you all. Youd probably swallow it in your Big Mac.
    Im Out

  26. Random Australian says:

    Man this kinda shit only happens in America. WTF is wrong with the people in your country. Im not saying you’re all dickheads, just the people in your courts.

  27. The iPod’s functionality is insensitive to deaf people.

  28. ever heard of comedy? says:

    OMFG i cant believe u people

    although this is very typical of the amercians comedy!! sorry i just cant watch your comedy… why the fuck do u have ppl laughing in the background? is that to tell u to laugh cause u are so stupid. maybe this should have a heading “ipod comedy”

    LOL idiots

  29. Atul says:

    why blame obese people when they cant make a good fine proper working product
    i say pull down the company if they cant
    and stop blaming people
    this is always a peoblem with these big corps
    we consumers arent their slaves
    they better provide peoper products worht the money consumers pay
    otherwise as i said earlier
    shut down shop and sell vegetables

  30. tag[taem] says:

    plEase the faets paeople is to stop eatnig the pizzaz and the hambrugers.
    it is vary yuk for me when i is walking the streat and see the feats paeople!.
    plaese the gfeat paople no buy ipads! you is too fats and too uglies!

    thanks for your times!

    p.s team taem is still givings the dota tutoriol for maneys and also gives the autgroaphs for NZ 5$. thanksyous!

    plz if u wants to give us the maneys go to

  31. Chuckzilla says:


  32. Louis says:

    If they made the iPod nano for fat people, it wouldn’t be very small anymore

  33. josh says:

    Hmmm. Now you know what it’s like to be fat. Not very fun. If you’ve been fat all your life you kind of get numb to it all. I think it was about 4th grade when I started to tune it out. You don’t want to be fat but you are and everybody laughs at you – you just become an object of hostility. It’s fucking cruel. I think it’s great that there is an Obesity Association, just so I don’t go crazy and know that I am not the only one who has been the target of hostility all my life. Diet? please. You fucking skinny people don’t know what the fuck that means because no one ever told you to go on one. Let’s see, I think it would be like telling you fucks to go without the god dammend internet for an hour. forget about it. You don’t give change to homless, you think little people are midgets, and you think porn stars do it because they love the business. You’re as narrrow minded as your asses!!!!

  34. jimbo says:

    Word up Josh. Fat is Phat and that’s that. I’ve been fat all my life. Yes, I love to eat. I have “the hunger” – you know what I’m talkin’ bout. It kinda sucks that you can’t be a functioning fat ass like a functioning alcoholic ( of which I’m sure a few are present at this lovely gathering). Anyhoo, I salute you my fat friend for stating the truth. Let me tell you you think being fat is hard, try fat black and articulate. Talk about no place to hide. THANK GOD FOR THE INTERNET. Everyone’s hidding here yet they show their true colors don’t they? You just can’t explain it away like some iron maiden tattoo you got when you were 16. Yeah, we all carry stuff around, did stuff we’re not proud of, don’t have great bodies. Whatever. Life moves on. If it’s any cosolation, your not alone. in our pain and public shame we all learn that deep down we’re all the same. We want to live, to love, and get rich or die tryin’. But seriously, your on the fast track to rock solid self esteem if you stick with humor and a higher power. You have no other choice. Everyone else here will put this off indefinately – Until they’re old and slow and by then it’s too late…they’ve pissed their lives away serving the ego and they don’t have the grace or the will to die with dignity.

    Oh yeah, just put the Nano in your shirt pocket. Works great for me.

  35. Melinda says:

    There are no fat people on the internet.

  36. Anonymous says:


  37. Big Foot says:

    man… u bunch of fat dicks, jus wtf are u talking about??? calm ur flabby fat asses down. No jus go home(by the way, dont destory ur newly build double door with ur fat ass)

    yer, i m thin, and wot

  38. Big Foot's mom says:

    Big Foot, come home and bang me like you did last night to your father.

  39. meadowfat says:

    couldn’t apple make a giant nano for fatties

  40. small poppa says:

    hey yo was up wut the fuk yall b complaining aboputs being fat that damn nano was made for thin people not fo u guys u guys would ruin the word nano

  41. fatter than you says:

    all you fat asses need to get ahold of your self and lose the damn weight…i mean come on u cant blame no one but ur amn self……..

  42. muz says:


    Funny wish I could see the looks on the fat peoples faces when they read this

  43. elizabeth. says:

    The word ‘nano’ means extremely small.
    The nano itself
    is very small.

    If it were big, the name would be hypocritical.

    So lose some weight.

    (If you’re cool with being fat, props to you. But don’t bother corporate America with your complaints. They won’t care anyways.)

  44. meadowfat says:

    howabout a giganto then?

  45. meadowfat says:

    bytheway, perhaps it is humour.
    but thanks for explaining what nano means

  46. hahaha says:


  47. Fatty Fatty Fat says:

    did any of the people that actually disagree with apple think that they could have actual proof? they know who bought he ipod and they know who has problems with it. it is that much easier to prove that that person is obese or not

  48. goaway989 says:

    I have had my Nano since late september. I was cleaning the screen today and it cracked after I frimly rubbed my finger over the right corner. I didn’t push hard at all and it just cracked!!!!!!!!!!! How Gay Is That!!!!!!!! I would definately say that I am not fat considering I weigh 145 pounds and am 5’10.
    So I am not going to side with the fat people, but I will say there is definatelly a defect. So before you assholes make fun of fat people why don’t you get a nano from the early shipments and push on the bottom right corner of the screen firmly before you talk about things you know nothing about you freaking nubes.

  49. b griff says:

    pff…i didn’t see the person but it probably could have been another one of those annoying emo kids, who wear girls clothes…they were probably major small, and was crushing the Ipod…the same thing probably happened with their cellphone and other sheeet

  50. Kevin says:

    Oh the irony. Right after the article an ad was displaying the “wonder shake plan” and “lose up to 20 pounds a month.”

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