Stick a (hemp) Thneed in it, Greenpeace! The iPhone RULES! - Macenstein

Stick a (hemp) Thneed in it, Greenpeace! The iPhone RULES!

You gotta love Greenpeace. In fact, they get angry if you don’t, and may even sue you.

Much like the Lorax, Greenpeace speaks for the trees, for the trees cannot speak. But the things Greenpeace (and the trees) are saying these days seem just a bit archaic to this modern gadget lover. At issue is the fact that apparently Greenpeace is under the misguided notion that a high tech, websurfing, MP3-playing, video viewing, touchscreen-having smartphone such as the iPhone can be made from twigs and berries, and Apple should have done a better job looking for those berries before it began cranking out the iPhone. Well, sorry Greenpeace, but some things cannot be made without little things we call “chemicals”, and one of them is the iPhone – the single most important consumer product since the Thneed.

Greenpeace has had a bit of a thing for Apple over the years – constantly riding them on being more eco-friendly. They even managed to get Apple to promise they “will voluntarily eliminate the use of PVC and BFRs by the end of 2008”, a move they applauded. But a quick check of the calendar shows Apple still has about a year and a half left to do so, so why is Greenpeace making a new stink out of an old issue? My theory on this somewhat overly critical eye Greenpeace turns toward Apple is that its members likely prefer using Apple computers to PCs, but feel guilty that Apple’s gear is not 100% dolphin-safe yet. They are getting impatient.

Their anger is understandable. If I had to use a PC just because it saved a watt here or there, I too might begin to become resentful of Apple. But their latest attack on Apple via their much publicized iPhone seems out of line, and reeks of attention whoring. I mean, after all, it is a Wi-Fi enabled cellular phone. Of course it’s dangerous. PVC’s and BFRs are the least of our worries, but… it has a touchscreen for crying out loud! How cool is that?!?

Fighting a losing battle

Because of Greenpeace’s iPhone report, the Center for Environmental Health has announced that it is suing Apple, although the suit seems a bit rushed in they are not yet sure what they want Apple to do exactly. The important thing is that Greenpeace has once again stirred the media hornet’s nest, and iPhone-starved news outlets are going nuts.

As most corporations know, messing with Greenpeace is a losing battle. Once Greenpeace has put you on its shit-list, you might as well start pouring crude oil on baby seals, as that is how the media will slant the resulting articles. If I were Apple, I’d cut a deal with Greenpeace as soon as I could before the press gets really bad. Apple should agree to put a warning sticker on all iPhones alerting people that they should not eat the deadly iPhone, and all Greenpeace members should receive a $100 store credit at the Apple Store.

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