Macenstein

Above: Good Lord! Does anyone remember when this was Britney spears?

According to the gossip rag The Sun, Britney Spears has shown signs of regaining her senses, and has allegedly dumped her goonish paparazzi boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. The lover’s spat occurred when Britney found incriminating text messages from a female friend of Ghalib’s on his iPhone, causing her to subsequently throw said iPhone into a nearby pool.

According to the report, Ghalib didn’t try to recover his iPhone, so if you want a free iPhone, and don’t mind living dangerously, you may want to look into dating Britney and then asking to borrow her pool skimmer. There’s a slight chance the phone might still work if dried out, although it’s looking doubtful the same can be said for Britney at this point.