Write a caption, win a prize
[THANK YOU, WE HAVE A WINNER. THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED]
Think you’re funny enough to be the next Margaret Cho? Well, now’s your chance to prove it to the world. Write your best caption for the above photo. 
If we think it’s the most clever, we’ll send you off a $20 iTunes gift certificate.
The contest is open to everyone in the US (sorry, iTunes won’t let us buy gift certificates to non-US accounts), and runs until Tuesday (March 18th) at 9PM EST. You can enter more than once if you are feeling “Carrot Top“-prolific. Good luck.
(Oh, and be sure to put in your e-mail, or else we won’t be able to contact you).
[Original image by Liam Daly via flickr]
[AND THE WINNER IS… Belasco WITH “That big? That’s the last time I delete my spam folder without checking it.” Nice one, Belasco! And good advice! You’re gift certificate is on its way!
Bill: Wait a minute, Stevo. You’re telling me you really think you can get multi-touch into a device that small?
Steve: I guess it’s about like…this.
Bill: Seriously? Woz? Who knew!
Steve: Why do you think he needs a Segway to get around?
Steve: This is the best $h!t I’ve ever smoked!
Bill: I know! Right? and can you believe I got this from Steve Ballmer!?
Steve: Have you ever contemplated the words Height, length, and width and then considered the relationship between them and the words “HI”, “LONG”, and “WIDE”?
Bill: I told you Steve, I don’t smoke the wacky tobaccy any more!
Steve: Poof, and now its gone!
Bill: Wowwy Zowwies. How did you make that Windows Vista box disappear?
Steve: Watch my hands.
Bill: No, watch my hands!
Steve: No, watch my hands!
Bill: No! Srsly watch my hands!
Steve: Look, Bill… nobody even says “talk to the hand” anymore. And even when they did, they didn’t actually start talking with their hand like it was a puppet.
Bill’s Hand: OS X is the bomb…. PSYCHE!
Steve: Dear God…
Steve: One more thing… I’m going to kill you with my bare hands. We’re really excited about this…
Bill: I have a question… Are you planning to strangle me or just slap me medium-hard?
Steve: We don’t discuss future plans.
Steve: …and then God says, “Just make them use Vista!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bill: I don’t get it…
*soup shoots out Steve’s nose*
Cool concept Steve! Geek High-Five!
Here comes the tickle monster!!!!
Uh-oh, look out Steve here comes the Tickle Monster!!!!!!!
Steve: My dumps are this long.
Bill: Can I see one?
Steve: Bill if you don’t take you hand out of my crotch I’m going to box your ears!
Bill if you don’t take your hand off my knee I’m going to box your ears!
Steve: Hello, I’m a Mac.
Bill: And I’m a PC. You know Mac, there are a lot of people who think I look a lot like John Hodgman, the actor on the popular Get a Mac television commercials.
Steve: Okay, I guess there is a likeness. But he’s at least this much cooler than you are.
Steve: We had no choice … the world wanted the iphone.
Bill: You cur-sed brat!, look what you’ve done!
Bill: I’m melting! I’m melting!
Bill: Ohhhhh… What a world! What a world! Who would’ve thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!
bill: well, at least i still have my hair.
Steve: I hope thiiiiis much that no one blogs this.
bill: see you in hell.
steve’s inner monologue: look friendly for the picture, choke later. look friendly for the picture, choke later.
pussys dont like dicks, because dicks fuck pussys.
steve: oh yeah, well the knife i use to stab YOU in my dreams in this big.
steve: no one on digg likes you.
Steve: Hello, I’m a Mac.
Bill: And I’m a PC.
Bill: Now then that is out of the way, lets eat!
Bill: Well, people hate Vista. They’re even switching back to XP. I’m depressed.
Steve: Did you realize that I have the world’s smallest violin in my right hand?
or
Bill: LAZER BLAST!
Steve: Deflected! TRI FINGER ARTILLERY CANNON! Your head explodes.
“Bill… I know you look as old as Emperor Palpatine, but lightning is not gonna shoot outta your hand!”
Bill: When I went to bed last night all I could think about was the iPhone — so to keep myself from buying it I imagined it having teeth and going “roar”…(gestures with hand) like this “ROAR”!!!
Steve: So, like I was saying the goal for 2008 is to make every product 50% smaller. Every product…half as big. Can you imagine the feat of engineering that will go into that. Remarkable!
“I said, ‘let me see both hands'” – Steve Jobs
After years of drooling over Apple design, Bill Gates finally decides to get get a consultation for a hotly anticipated product release, The Not-So-Micro-Or-Soft penis pump.
Steve: Greedo fired first, I have studied the physics of how he fell onto the table!
Bill: No way. Han’s gun was down like this…..
Tensions were high at the latest meeting between Apple exec Steve Jobs and his rival Bill Gates. The evening climaxed as Mr. Jobs began to show off his mighty mind jujistu powers. Mr. Gates was not available to comment on his pownage.
SJ: “Hey, four eyes you stole my idea.”
BG: “Yeah, well at least I know how to shave!”
Steve Jobs uses a controversial “Rock, Paper, Scissors” strategy: two pieces of paper beats one.
Bill: Damn! It never works when I try to choke with the Force.
Steve: Sorry. That distortion field has some unintended side-effects.
“I am big. It’s the screens that got small.”
Gates: “Did you here that Steve? That’s the sound of ONE hand clapping. Isn’t that wild?!” Oh man”
Seriously Bill, my wallet is this fat!
Steve: I love you this much.
Billl: Yeeeee!
Steve: What to rub my Love tooL?
Bill: Yeeeeee!
Steve: Woz told me it was this big.
Bill: Nah, I talked to Kathy and she said it was only 5 inches.
2 retards sitting at the “special” table.
steve: my go potty in pants! (clapping hands vigorously)
bill: arrrgh! i wub my pee pee to hard!
Bill: Ha Ha Steve, my man Balmer is behind you and he’s going to grab your tits!
Bill: Why are holding your hands like that?
Steve: They’re not my hands, they’re Balmer’s! I’m sitting on his face.
Balmer: Hummpfuff!
Bill: Where’s Woz?
Steve: Who cares?
For 30 years it’s been the details, Bill. Look again… both hands.
Bill: “So I just threw my bread roll at the table behind and hit that mexican on the head!”
Steve: “Yeah that woman looks pissed, I’m gonna slow clap so she knows it was you”
Bill: “Dick”
10 mins later….
Bill: “Doesn’t that dude on the table behind look like you 20years ago?”
Steve: “Shut the fuck up BIll, no-ones meant to know about iTimeTravel yet”
“Am I right, Steve? It’s impossible to strangle each other while sitting in Hawaii Chairs.”
Wow Jim, nice callback to the Hawaii Chair!
-The Doc
Caption: Fuck Linux!