Macenstein

OK, everyone TRY to sty calm. This is not a drill. This is the day we Mac geeks have been training for for the past month and a half, and it is up to us to attempt to keep civilization from just completely imploding. While we the faithful had read the reports from England earlier this month with shaking hands, knowing full well this dark day was fast approaching, it seems some folks were still caught off guard by the apparent total and complete iPhone shortage gripping the world, and it is likely only a matter of hours before the mass rioting and looting quickly turns to zombie-like brain munching. I recommend everyone try to gather as much anti-zombie spray and other provisions as you can before sunset. I for one always have a 30 day supply of bottled water and UTZ Cheezeballs on hand, so I am not all that worried for myself, but I know that as in most catastrophes, we’ll likely loose a large percentage of the elderly and infirm, and for that I am truly sorry.

But hey, that means more 3G iPhones for us, am I right?

Right now I am retro-fitting an old yellow school bus with armored plating, barbed wire, and 2 sets of flamethrowers (one front, one back), and I have spray painted the words “WWDC 2008 or DEATH!!” on the side. I also painting a set of pretty cool racing stripes that I feel look pretty sharp. The goal is to try to drive this baby from my home in Awesometown NJ all the way to San Fransisco, picking up survivors along the way, and trying not to die in some foolish, predictable way I should have seen coming. If you are still alive and get this message, hold on, I’m coming. I will be monitoring the CB channels 5 and 17, and I will find you. There is hope. You are not alone. We’ll make it out of [crash!]… shit, what was that?! Oh crap they’re inside.. NO! [BLAM BLAM! BLAM!]
…. squishing, gurgling sounds…
…eerie silence…
cut to black
credits roll, “Come Home” by Pere Ubu plays.

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