Microsoft’s anal-sounding retail announcement illustrates why its stores will fail - Macenstein

Microsoft’s anal-sounding retail announcement illustrates why its stores will fail

Remember back in 2001 when Apple first announced it would be opening 25 retail stores? Well, just in case you don’t re-read old Apple Press releases to your kids at bedtime each night, here’s a quick refresher on how Steve Jobs described Apple’s motives in opening their stores:

“The Apple stores offer an amazing new way to buy a computer. Rather than just hear about megahertz and megabytes, customers can now learn and experience the things they can actually do with a computer, like make movies, burn custom music CDs, and publish their digital photos on a personal Web site.”

Warm and fuzzy, right? Almost as if he were an actual human being speaking to other humans. Well, now compare that to Microsoft Chief Operating Officer Kevin Turner‘s description of why Microsoft has decided to open its own chain of retail stores:

“We’re working hard to transform the PC and Microsoft buying experience at retail by improving the articulation and demonstration of the Microsoft innovation and value proposition so that it’s clear, simple and straightforward for consumers everywhere.”

“Clear”, “simple”, and “straightforward”, three words I would never use to describe that paragraph. Seriously, who talks like that? I think it’s safe to say this classic “If Microsoft designed the iPod” video will apply to their retail stores as well.

10 Responses to “Microsoft’s anal-sounding retail announcement illustrates why its stores will fail”
  1. odin says:

    Why Microsoft will fail. Saturation and probably price.

    1. Why did they create the Apple Store? To sell macs when retailers didn’t carry them. Then it became a phenomenon. You can buy a PC anywhere, even most malls have a kiosk of some sort, plus the 8 million home builders who can whip one together for cheaper than a lot of manufacturers.

    2. Why do they still work? Price, you can’t get a Mac much cheaper else where, so you might as well buy it from Apple itself. Microsoft would have to compete on price against places like Walmart and Best Buy just to lure business in. People might drop by out of curiosity, but what does Microsoft itself actually make? Software, XBox, and Zune.

  2. Ed Arnold says:

    I could not agree more, the perfect illustration of this is my experience with Microsoft vs. Apple Software packaging. If you are interested, check out the link below, but bottom line, Microsoft has no clue what people actually do with what they make:

  3. modiglian says:

    hum… do I need to take my lawyer if I want to visit a Microsoft store?

    Something I might say or think could be a copyright infringement.

  4. dcvader says:

    You would not catch me in a MS store. No way baby!

  5. tkelley says:

    It would be so much much better if MS would improve the products that they already produce and sell. Instead they seem to chasing and playing catch-up in markets that have more to do with ego.

  6. iShervin says:

    pooof!!! we gonna have a blue store! yes microsoft products with blue screen!!!
    why MS has to copy all the time! why can’t they come up with something that MAC USERS will actually say oh it’s nice! or we wish we could have such thing!!! never gonna happen!

  7. Justin says:

    I’ll be there in the store with my iPhone and MacBook using their free wifi if they provide it 🙂

  8. odin says:

    Also you might note that there will be 6 different versions of the Microsoft store and an additional 2 versions for international locations, as well as 2 low impact versions for lower income areas…

  9. roy says:

    so microsoft is haveing a store that will be selling mostly third party poducts
    computor section not made or suppourted by microsoft
    phone section not made or suppourted by microsoft
    microsoft genisus section sign reads “all faults are made by manafacture not us”

  10. Smorgasbord says:

    Obviously, Microsoft used the same translation program as was used in “Category 5 Engrish Storm” story two posts above this one.

    A perfect example of why Microsoft quality isn’t up to Apple’s is at the “Apple Ads” web sight at ( Then click on “Bean Counter.” It explains it the best way. I still go to it sometimes to get a good laugh.

Leave A Comment


Click here to inquire about making a fortune by advertising your game, gadget, or site on Macenstein.