If you’re going to use this App, why not save yourself 99¢ and name your baby “Steve”?
I’m as big an Apple fanboy as the next guy, but when it comes to naming your kids, I’m not sure there should be “An App for that”. Oh, I have nothing against the ones that just give you a list or something, but the idea of the Kick To Pick app (99¢), while on the surface cute, in reality is just plain flawed. Basically, the app lets your baby pick his or her OWN name while still in the womb. How? First you set the app to scroll through the list of potential names, and then by placing your iPhone against your pregnant belly, you wait for your baby to “Kick”, thus stopping the list of names from scrolling, and letting your baby “Choose” his or her own name.
While the idea is cute, and is fine for serving as an amusing distraction during the stress of pregnancy, it has some obvious flaws. First, if you REALLY were going to commit to it, as you can see from the screenshots, you have a more than sporting chance of ending up with a baby named “Junius”. Anyone who’s ever flipped through a baby name book knows there are about 50 “my kid will not get beat up for having this name” names in the book, and about 3000 others, ranging from Greek Gods to condiments. But admit it, you aren’t going to REALLY stick to what your baby randomly picks, are you? No, this is going to be like when you shook the Magic 8-Ball as a kid, and just kept shaking it until it told you what you wanted.
But odds are you aren’t even going to do that. Probably what you’ll do it pick your top 3 or 4 names, then let your baby “Choose” from those. And if you do, I’m sorry, but you aren’t going to be much of a parent. While naming your child might seem like a big deal at the time, it’s FAR from the hardest decision you’re going to have to make as a parent. If you are the type of person who is so indecisive that you make your big decisions in life by flipping a coin, odds are your kid only has a 50% chance of being normal. And you’re probably also a Batman villain.
Still, I’ll give the developer props for coming up with one of the few original iPhone app ideas this year. And as a side note, if any of my readers happen to be expecting, you could do worse in the name department than “Macenstien”. It’s a beautiful name for a girl.
Thanks to faithful Macenstein reader Jessie for the tip!
via Time
