Even Apple thieves are elitist - Macenstein

Even Apple thieves are elitist

When stealing Apple gear, one can’t simply throw just any old cinder block through the Apple Store’s plate glass window. That type of plebeian criminal activity just simply isn’t done when pilfering such high-end gear. These days if you don’t want to be laughed out of the criminal underworld, you need to make sure you use a $60,000 automobile (or better) as the method of breaking and entering.

According to AppleInsider, criminals smashed a Lexus through the Columbus Ohio Apple store at 1AM last night in a classic “Smash and grab”. The hooded suspects then began loading merchandise (using their 5 finger discount, of course) into the Lexus’ trunk, then drove off amidst a barrage of bullets from local law enforcement, and subsequently escaped.

Now, this robbery provokes many questions. First, if the thieves could afford a Lexus, why would they need to steal? If they couldn’t, and were using a stolen automobile, why wouldn’t they have stolen a larger car/SUV รขโ‚ฌโ€œ since more storage means more stolen loot? And finally, what are the odds the Apple Store employees will end up catching these guys using the Back To My Mac feature before the Columbus PD? ๐Ÿ™‚

8 Responses to “Even Apple thieves are elitist”
  1. Imagine Engine says:

    Why would thieves use a Lexus to commit their crime which involves damaging an expensive car by smashing it through a building? The criminals either want a name for themselves or are complete idiots. I’m going for the latter based on how this crime played out and will guess that the police will catch them soon using for example the “Back to my Mac” feature.

  2. Alex says:

    I think it’s Steve Ballmer.

  3. Alex says:

    I bet they were only after the Apple TV. Yup.

  4. odin says:

    I am going to go buy iMacs on ebay now!

  5. Unfortunately Back To My Mac only works if a MobileMe account has been activated on the machine.

    Did they nick the display machines or new stock?

    If display machines then yeah B2MM would work but if new stock then out of luck that way I’m afraid.

  6. Connor says:

    I bet they didn’t even mean to crash into an Apple store, but though Hell why not steal some shit since were here.

  7. David Syzdek says:

    10 to 1 says the Lexus was stolen

  8. brian says:

    kidding kidding

    but seriously- this stuff will be listed on e-bay quickly
    i wonder what kinda insurance an apple store has

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