[UPDATED] Chuck Norris Steve Jobs is so bad ass “he can get a Whopper at McDonald’s” - Macenstein

[UPDATED] Chuck Norris Steve Jobs is so bad ass “he can get a Whopper at McDonald’s”

What do Steve Jobs and Chuck Norris have in common? They’re both ass-wipes. Well, at least the deified, internet version of Chuck Norris is (I’m sure he’s a lamb in real life). But according to NYMag, Steve Jobs is a different matter.

At a recent top-secret dinner held for 50 NY TImes execs, Steve Jobs made a “surprise” appearance to show off the capabilities of the new iPad and to perhaps attempt to gain exclusivity with NYT content on the device. And while that in and of itself would be news to your average Mac blog, what I found interesting was that despite the event being held at the swanky Southern Asian Restaurant Pranna, Steve apparently strolled in and requested “a mango lassi and penne”.

There’s something about celebrities that have the balls to do that that really pisses me off, and apparently the readers of NYMag agree. Maybe its all those years I spent as a top chef in Boston, New Orleans, Tokyo, and Antarctica, but if you know you’re going somewhere where you may not like the food, why not try eating BEFORE you go? Or at least ask the chef to prepare something from within 500 miles of where their specialty originates? It would never occur to me to walk into a Taco Bell and order a large Pan Pizza, and odds are if they gave me one it would be horrible, but that’s pretty much what Steve did.

It reminds me of The Simpson’s episode where Yoko Ono is at a restaurant and says “I’d like a single plum floating in perfume served in a man’s hat.” And she GETS it.

The ego it takes to go into a restaurant and order not just off the menu, but WAY off is astoundingly rude. I’m pretty sure not all 50 NYT execs wanted to eat Southern Asian cuisine, but they choked it down, or hit McDonald’s on the way home. Why else would this story have even leaked out if either the other guests, or odds are, the chef himself weren’t offended?

It’s times like this I am glad I turned down that job as Apple’s Chief Technology Officer. I don’t think I could smile through a business lunch with Steve ordering “flounder pie with sesame dressing” at Le Cirque.

Actually, they might serve that at Le Cirque. But you get the idea.

Thanks to faithful Macenstein reader Jill for the link.
[via NY Mag]

[UPDATE} Faithful Macenstein reader Lev writes:

Did you bother to do any research before you insulted our “fearless leader”? A mango Lassi is a South Asian drink. Weren’t they at a South Asian restaurant?
Check Wikipedia if you care to be corrected; Lassi is a popular and traditional South Asian yogurt-based drink. It is made by blending yoghurt with water or milk and Indian spices.[1] Traditional lassi is sometimes flavored with ground roasted cumin. Sweet lassi, blended with sugar or fruits instead of spices, is also very popular.[
Can you say RETRACTION!

Lev, I think it’s pretty obvious I don’t do any research for ANY of my articles. In fact, I’m not even going to bother checking the link you sent me, I’ll just assume it’s accurate. But I’m big enough to admit when I was wrong, or at least blame someone else for my mistakes. The tone of the original NYMag article implied it was a bit of a social faux pas on Steve’s part to order such a thing, so I went with that, being totally unfamiliar with the type of food mentioned. I do not pretend to be a journalist of any integrity. Sorry if I somehow came across as professional.
Long live Steve!
– The Doc

15 Responses to “[UPDATED] Chuck Norris Steve Jobs is so bad ass “he can get a Whopper at McDonald’s””
  1. Donn says:

    I’m sorry, but what was the point of this article?
    He was in a pan-asian restaurant and ordered something asian.
    Asian is not just oriental but also includes indian and pakistani dishes.

  2. meh, the can’t ALL be gems…

    – The Doc

  3. Rob says:

    Wish I knew what “a mango lassi and penne” is; is that a collie mixed with mango and pasta? I’d rather know who the 50 NYT execs were that were meeting, what the hell the 50 NYT execs thought about the iPad and what exactly they were meeting about.

    I think they were talking about how they could best take over NY state now that it’s finances are so messed up. They could kick everyone out or force them to move by over taxing them to oblivion, and pave over the entire state and make it one giant parking lot for the Chinese to land their planes and make their version of Disney World.

  4. Joe says:

    “I think they were talking about how they could best take over NY state now that it’s finances are so messed up.”

    It is not widely known, but the NYT DID put in an offer to buy the entire state. Unfortunately, Billy Bob Jones of Buffalo took $3 out of his piggy bank and topped their offer.

  5. Michael Spurlock says:

    This is a non-issue. If he had gone to a specialty fast-food restaurant and asked for the competing product, there might have been merit in this article, but he didn’t. He went to a chef driven restaurant and ordered something he wanted. Take into consideration that he has had some very serious health issues and that can require maintaing a very specific diet and this is just blowing smoke. Go get upset about something real.

  6. James H. says:

    Not an article, just a “hit troll”. It worked, I was curious. I concur with Spurlock.

  7. J says:

    slow news day?

    you pieced together a story picked off the inspired “chuck norris” comment left by one of the readers of that nymag article. and then you didn’t even bother to check that a lassi, at least is actually a nutritious milk and fruit ‘smoothie’ of indian origin likely to be served in an asian restaurant, even if it may not be on Pranna’s menu. the man’s a healthy-eating vegan/pescetarian for all we know.

  8. veggiedude says:

    Steve Jobs in the same sentence as McDonalds? How dare you! Steve does not eat animals you goof ball.

  9. Conrad Balack says:

    Yha moron you turned down that job at Apple and I’m dam glad you don’t work for Apple.

    What a fucking ass hat.

  10. Pete from OH says:

    well, steve DOES still park his mercedes in handicap parking, so he is a bit of a tool.


  11. Terrin says:

    Jobs would never order a Whopper. He is a vegetarian. Further, any Chef probably is all giggly over getting the opportunity to make a meal for Steve. Especially if he likes it.

  12. Tocamelo says:

    BTW… you can get a pepperoni pizza at Taco Bell.

  13. ObamaPacman says:

    Someone doesn’t like Southern Asian cuisine. =p

    Anyway I bet a dollar that there are Italian and Indian restaurants within blocks of that restaurant.

  14. John says:

    Even if Jobs had ordered radically different food from what one would expect in a south asian restaurant, I don’t see the big deal so long as he’s willing to pay for it. If you’re the manager, just order from another restaurant and have it delivered — and be quick about it. It’s not like Jobs is going to be paying for this himself — just charge whatever you want and his people will deal with it.

    The bottom line is that if you think that you live in some kind of egalitarian socialist paradise you are sadly mistaken. People like Steve Jobs are more important than you — get over it.

  15. Alex says:

    “Penne” is a kind of pasta, as far as I know. Could be ALSO something asian, but it’s much more known to be one of the most italian of dishes. So I guess that’s what they were talking about. (right?)

Leave A Comment


Click here to inquire about making a fortune by advertising your game, gadget, or site on Macenstein.