Man beats up innocent stranger when Find My iPhone tracks his “missing” iPhone to the wrong location - Macenstein

Man beats up innocent stranger when Find My iPhone tracks his “missing” iPhone to the wrong location

Find My iPhone
This story is awesome for a couple reasons.

Carl Ippolito, 52, a youth baseball umpire, returned to his car after a game to find his iPhone was missing. With a regular phone, the story would have ended there, but luckily (for we the media that is, not Ippolito) Ippolito had an iPhone, and so did his son. Together the pair used Find My iPhone on his son’s iPhone to track Carl’s missing phone to an alley near a lumber yard. There Ippolito came upon hapless Brent Johnson, 27, who just happened to be talking on an iPhone. What happened next is pure awesomeness:

“Police said that Johnson tried to walk away, but Ippolito grabbed his shirt, pulled the younger man to the ground and punched his head and body. Johnson’s chin was cut.
Ippolito later learned that he had inadvertently left his cell phone in the snack shack at the baseball field, where he had been umpiring a youth baseball game, police said, and it was still there. Patrolman Vince Albani investigated.”

Now, obviously that story is not “awesome” for poor Mr. Johnson, who has our sympathies, but the idea that a 52 year old man’s job is “youth baseball umpire” is great. Also great is he apparently has the temper one would associate with a man who is a 52 year old youth baseball umpire, as well as the “map reading” abilities of such a man.

I love that it did not occur to Ippolito or his son to simply call his iPhone when confronting Johnson to prove the phone was his. I also love that his phone was found in the snack shack, which further helps me imagine what Ippolito looks like.

As someone who has lost an iPhone (well, I must point out that it was the BRIDE OF MACENSTEIN who lost HER iPhone, not me) and who tried to use Find My iPhone to bust the person who took it, I must say that even with the police involved, the service is worthless. In fact all I have ever used it for successfully is sending the “sonar beep” to my kids iPod touches when they lose them in the house, which is something I guess, given it’s a free service. But I would certainly never attempt to kick anyone’s ass solely based on the blue dot on a map with a 200 ft accuracy radius. Especially a dude in a lumber yard alley. So kudos to Ippolito for being twice the man I am and being able to take down a 27 year old – a man nearly half his age (and I like to imagine, WEIGHT).


15 Responses to “Man beats up innocent stranger when Find My iPhone tracks his “missing” iPhone to the wrong location”
  1. Shiv says:

    Getting beaten up for no reason is just unfortunate. I hope Bret Johnson is able to recover fast. How can you even say getting beaten up innocently is “pure awesomeness”?

    • Nick says:

      I agree, it’s not awesome. The story makes little sence, it’s not amusing and you’re congratulating someone for beating up some other innocent guy. You think it’s AWESOME. Well you know what, I can get a good picture of what you look like from the story you wrote.
      Bad reporting, I’m never going to take MacEnstein as a worthwhile blog. I have little respect now.

    • Eddie says:

      It takes an incredible douchebag to think that an innocent guy, minding his own business, getting beat up by a lunatic is “pure awesomeness”.

      You, Dr. Macenstein…are an incredible douchebag…and this is my first and last time coming to your blog.

  2. Jonro says:

    Perhaps court-ordered anger management classes are in Mr. Ippolito’s future, as well as a large civil judgment against him. How far, I wonder, was that alley from the snack shack, and was Find My iPhone grossly inaccurate? It’s a good thing Umpire Ippolito did not bring a baseball bat with him on his search.

  3. Tom says:

    This gorilla deserves nothing less than to be sued straight into the poor-house for his actions. That or a few days in a cell with “Bubba.” C’mere, umpire boy…!

  4. Wow says:

    What if Mr. Johnson had a gun or was a black-belt and he thought he was being robbed and he defended himself with all his might….causing major injury to Ippolito???
    What an ugly (uglier) scenario it could have been!!!

  5. halhiker says:

    Is Mr. Ippolito a Dodger fan, by chance?

  6. Chris says:

    I don’t think find my iPhone is useless. Couple of months ago, my wife’s phone fell out of her purse. She came home and was pretty upset that she’d lost it. Hopped on the computer, saw where the phone was, sent it a message telling the person who had taken it home with them (it was in a residential area) that we would be happe to drive to their street to pick it up, or we could have the police do it if they’d rather we didn’t meet face to face. Six minutes later we had our phone back.

  7. thedavy says:

    Obviously a felony was committed so he is probably looking to serve some prison time ay the very least. When you take the law into your own hands it has consequences.

  8. Geexer says:

    I have been meaning to remove this website from my RSS for a while now. Thanks for pushing me over the edge with this insensitive and ignorant article. Bye!

  9. Satire says:

    Satire is dead.

  10. Surely, I can’t be the only person to read that, and not hear the words, “CAVE JOHNON, HERE”… Could I?

  11. Chris says:

    You people need to lighten up! Remember, comedy is when some guy slips on a banana peel. Tragedy is when YOU slip on a banana peel.

  12. Brian says:

    I can’t believe you called this tragedy pure AWESOMENESS. It’s purely unfortunate and the fact you think it is funny in any way makes me think I won’t be patronizing this site any more. Very sad commentary.

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